Danny’s Song by Anne Murray
A Mother does know what her child does not say, it is called mother’s instinct. I had a very strong mother’s instinct. I knew when my son Michael was sick, depressed, upset or tired. I looked into his eyes and they told me everything I needed to know. He is now an adult with children of his own but I can still read his eyes. I will always have the mother’s instinct no matter how old he is.
For Jason, however, he was unable to communicate. I understood very early in his life how to communicate with him and how he communicated with me. For example, he was diagnosed to have apnea as an infant. This means he stopped breathing. When Jason finally came home after five months in the hospital, I used my mother’s instinct on him as well. After observing his apnea spells, I realized he was using it to get attention. He was holding his breath. Unfortunately for Jason, he held his breath so long, he was unable to start breathing again until he turned blue and fainted. When he reached this point he then started breathing again. He would recover and look at me. He got the attention he wanted.
When he was older, I was able to read his facial expressions along with his eyes. I would ask him a question and he would respond with either a smile, pout, frown, or tears, depending on what the situation was.
After a surgical procedure, I was invited to see him in the recovery room. I would ask him if he was in pain and he would look at me with tears in his eyes and a pout that extended down to his neck. This very clearly meant he was scared and was experiencing pain. The nurses would give him pain medication, and after a few minutes, he smiled at me and fell asleep.
Jason and I had a special connection with communication. He depended on me even more because I was able to understand him. It was the greatest gift I could give him and I was honored to be his communicator.
I only wished he could have found a way to tell me he was leaving me for a better place. I had a hard time accepting his decision to enter heaven’s door without saying goodbye. I finally realized he needed to do it his way.
Best wish my friends,