“A Strong Woman knows how to keep her life in line. With tears in her eyes, she still manages to say…I’m Fine!
River of Tears by Eric Clapton
I am the strong woman in this quote. For many years I needed to be strong so I could stay in control. Staying in control was the defense mechanism I created within my soul so I could continue to advocate and care for my disabled son. However, I cried silent tears. I never cried at my mother’s, father’s or son’s funeral because I didn’t allow myself to do so. Again I cried silent tears.
On the outside everyone believed I was a very strong woman. “You are a wonderful mother and a very strong woman, I don’t know how you do it”, I heard. I cried silent tears. I still cry silent tears for the loved ones who passed away. I cry silent tears every day thinking about my son in heaven.
I can relate to Eric Clapton’s song, River of Tears. All of the silent tears I cried for many years are enough to fill a “river of tears.”
I create visual journal pages because the demon inside my soul taught me how to cry silent tears and I am going to get rid it through every page I create in my visual journal. It is my therapy. My subconscious is going to kick this demon out of my soul through my paintings. I am healing with every stroke I make. How refreshing!!
If you are living with something very painful, either mentally or physically, pick up a journal and write. Write your feelings down. Get them out of your head and on paper so you can see them. If you are creative, paint; use a visual journal for the same purpose. Don’t cry silent tears like I did for years; get your feelings out of your mind and on paper. It is the beginning of cleansing your soul from all the demons living there for years. GET THEM OUT!, otherwise you will develop a physical illness like I did.
I have anxiety. However, I am being treated and doing fine. My mind was filled with all my pent up frustrations,fears and pain, it overflowed its cup (so to speak).
Well I need to get off my soap box.
Best wishes dear friends…