Thankful Thursday

L-o-v-e by Natalie Cole

My Thankful Thursday post is special and very meaningful to me and my husband. When I started this blog back in September I was very angry. My husband was very angry. We were angry at each other. I accused him of verbally and emotionally abusing me. In some way he was but it was not something he was aware of. It was a learned behavior from his childhood.

My dear husband loves to watch the re-runs of Law and Order, Criminal Intent and will watch his favorite episodes on Netflix. He told me he was inspired to seek help from a therapist when the character “Gorman” needed therapy. My husband realized, based on this episode, there was something wrong with our marriage and he found a therapist.

After he saw Stacee for several months, I was invited to attend and we started seeing her together. This is when the dam opened and all of our pent up feelings just flowed out and Stacee helped us make sense of it all.

We are married 42 years and 33 of these years were full of stress, fear and frustration having to care for a severely disabled child, the death of our parents and most recently, caring for a mentally handicapped brother (my husband’s brother). He reached a point where he became depressed and I developed an anxiety disorder.

We were suffering from PTSD and didn’t know it. We started seeing separate therapists. Stacee helped Allen understand his behavior and how to control his anger. Amy taught me how to open up my emotions and release them from my inner soul where I had them trapped for many years. I formed a defense mechanism many years ago not to feel anything because if I did, I would lose control. Losing control was something I could not do because I would not be able to care for my children and handle problems related to their care.

That was our past and now we are two different people because of the wonderful care of two therapists, Stacee and Amy. They taught us how to communicate with each other, how to release our feelings, accept our past difficulties and go forward and live the rest of our life together as husband and wife for the first time with love and compassion for each other.

This is what I am thankful for. Good therapist who know what was wrong with us and knew how to help us find each other again. I will forever be grateful for Stacee and Amy. A BIG THANK YOU AND HUGS from both of us.

I hope my followers can learn from our experience. I know each relationship is different but please understand, if you can manage to find good therapy, it does help. It takes a lot of soul searching to make it work.

It is important for you to know I read many blogs about emotional, verbal and physical abuse and I know not all of these issues can be helped. Our story is unique and thankfully we were helped. Do not stay in a relationship if you are not safe. However, if you can relate to our story and it is similar to your’s, I strongly suggest seeking the help of therapy.

This is what I am grateful for today.

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