You heard me introduce my son Jason in Chapter 2 and in Chapter 1 I hinted about a life with a verbal/emotional abusive husband. This is what I need to talk about now because of all the challenges I endured in my 42 years of marriage, this is the worse.
My therapist helped me to understand my husband was raised by parents who taught him how to treat a wife. He learned from his mother a narcissistic personality and from his father, depression and anger. He brought all these “wonderful traits” with him to our marriage. Apparently he was unable to grasp the reality of his life. I get the cultural environment he was forced to live under but why did he not know between what was right and wrong.
For example, when I first learned that my son Jason had spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy I didn’t hide and feel sorry for myself; I ran to the library and searched the meaning of the disorder and how my son became inflicted. When I gathered all the knowledge I needed to help him, I went out in the world and worked my ass off to become his advocate to help him survive.
So with that being said why did my husband accept his fate and continue with his learned personality disorder and bring it with him to our life like he was proud of his so called heritage? Why did I have to be his verbal punching bag for 42 years while I alone was fighting to make sure my boys received all the help they needed to survive? I may never really understand this but I promised myself I will not ever be a victim of his abuse anymore.
I am still living in our house with him but in separate bedrooms. I am unable to support myself financially right now but I am working my ass off to do so. I will survive.