“If I Could” – Barbara Streisand
For the last two days I was busy cooking like I always have for the last 42 years. You see it has become a tradition in my family for me to host the Thanksgiving feast. In the past my house would be full of family and children all eating the traditional foods I always prepared. Now it is time to reflect…both my parents and in-laws are no longer with us and my dear brother-in-law who passed away three years ago. My nephew now has his own family gathering and my dear son is no longer in my world; he is in heaven probably enjoying my mother’ a cooking. My other son and his family alternate every year and this year he is with his in-laws. My house will feel somewhat empty tomorrow with only five at our table. However, I will have the pleasure of my sister’s company along with my niece and her friend .
As I was enjoying my yearly task of preparing my menu and cooking, I thought what it was like six years ago when I was sitting by my sons ‘a hospital bed holding his hand so he would know
I was with him so he wouldn’t be scared. He was inflicted with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy since birth and just a few days before was rushed to the hospital after he developed double aspirating pneumonia . He was very weak and was placed on a ventilator to help him breath .
I sat by his side for a month making sure he was well cared for. He eventually had a tracheostomy placed.
My son was 28 years old and lived a very challenging life and he no longer had the strength to hide his pain behind a great big smile he believed was his job to do. He no longer had the strength to keep us happy and finally succumbed to God’s calling on December 22, 2006. Thanksgiving and Hanukkah will no longer be a happy time for me without Jason in my life.
I still make the traditional Thanksgiving and celebrate Hanukkah now with my grandchildren but will always have a special place in my heart for my dear son. There are always memories of a full house with all my departed loved ones.
Jason ‘s memoir has been written and will be sent to my publisher sometime next year. He was a beautiful child with a loving soul and his story needs to be shared. I will keep you all posted when it is available.
I wish all of you a very happy Thanksgiving . Enjoy your friends and family tomorrow and treasure the time you have with them .